I guess it really is about perspective

After I left the dr. appt. the other day, I was almost in tears. I was totally frustrated. When dh called later, I unloaded into a blubbering mess. It took me so long to get it back together, Natalie picked up the kiddos from school when she picked up her own (which I will be forever greatful, cause I'm sure that my pink/red eyes and running nose would have alarmed them as I walked through the door).
What was so upsetting about the appointment you may ask? Nothing. That was it...there was NOTHING accomplished at the appointment. I waited in the waiting room for 1.15 hours and then in the room for another 30 mins. The dr. came in and she was really nice...actually about my age. Had I met her under different circumstances, probably someone I would like to hang out with or have lunch. We talked about my hospitalization, my follow-ups, my symptoms...she went through the records I had brought from the GI doctor. When I went into the GI doctor the week before, I had specifically requested ALL my records from them. The reason the GI doctor had sent me to this rheumatologist in the first place was because of a "non-specific" result on test done in the hospital and another on a blood test with a positive ANA. Ironically, as she went through the records...they didn't include the blood test results...notta one! So, as I walked out 2.5 hours after my appt time, they are currently trying to get the test results from the GI doctor to then send me for some more blood tests because apparently, my symptoms don't match "typical" autoimmune results and it's needle-in-the-haystack searching.

I am frustrated...and tired of doctors. I'm tired of not feeling right and I'm tired of being, well, tired. I know something is wrong, but nobody can seem to tell me what. Which makes me feel crazy! I spent the most of that night with Nat & the kids but secretly in my own self-pity party. Something I seem to indulge in after every doctor appointment these days...and when the morning comes, I have a whole new hope and energy. So, I feel justified in my couple of hours of self pity.
Then I was reminded of this. Its an amazing story that I have come so enthralled in, I feel like I'm living it with them. The story is of Stephanie Nielson. She is a mom, wife and blogger who along with her husband who had recently gotten his pilot's license were in a horrific accident in August of this year. She received burns over 80% of her body, he over 30%.
I found out about her blog from another blog I read. I was immediately pulled into her story. Having just gotten a fabulous camera and wanting to learn about pics, I was amazed at her eye for beauty in all her pictures. I'm also pulled into the story itself but not in a can't-turn-your-head-from-the-accident sort of way, but rather knowing that someone who sees things in such a beautiful way needs to recover to continue to share with the world that beauty. If you want to read more about her, her sister updates on her quite often. Just click on the CJaneGo link on the left.
Are my medical issues frustrating and at times scary? Yes. But I'm not fighting for my life somewhere in a hospital, looking at years of recovery, relearning to do all the things I learned as a child to do (like walking, using my fingers), and I haven't been separated from my children for months. So for that, I feel ever so lucky...and hopeful.